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    Depression and My Major Mood Swings

    Depression and My Major Mood Swings


    My depression has been worse than it’s been lately.  The least little thing sets me off, being alone most days all day gets me thinking too much and then when someone comes home I don’t want to talk to them.  More so if the question is. “what did you do today or what’s for dinner?”  Seriously, how are you?  How’s your pain and nausea levels?  Do you even want to eat?  A point of reference, I don’t eat much anymore and it has to be very bland and only a few things that I can eat.  As my depression ebbs and flows, I don’t feel that I can write.  I feel even more lost in my thoughts.  It doesn’t help that simple tasks have me finding that I’m having more and more memory issues.

    For the past few weeks, I’ve had a day here and there that the depression was worse or something made it worse and what was a good mood turned into me being a bitch.  I’ve lashed out at my best friend, who I miss with a vengeance and fear we will never be close again.  I’ve lashed out at my kids together and separately and said some mean things. Last night I lashed out at hubby and the kids.

    Last night I lashed out at hubby and the kids. Click To Tweet

    I’m home alone with the pupalups most days.  My family has school or work and leave the house at all different hours of the day.  I get not wanting to talk to me first thing before they go to school or work as I’m not a morning person either.  I’ve made an effort to be in the living room and that’s part in parcel with my back issues and sleeping on the couch.  I’m in the family nerve centre and only my husband talks to me and sometimes it’s that dinner question.  Some days, getting a shower is iffy because if I’m too dizzy I don’t want to try when home alone.  I’ve had too many falls lately.

    I just want my kids to spend a few minutes talking to me.  Tell me about your day, gripe about your day.

    I just want my kids to spend a few minutes talking to me.  Tell me about your day, gripe about your day.  I also want help.  I had to let the housekeeper go do to financial reasons and I can only do so much.  The company that is paying my long-term disability didn’t take enough or very little income tax off and it was a whopper of a bill that was due immediately. That bill had sent me into a deeper depression than I have been.  My one doctor keeps changing my appointments and he’s the doctor I really need to see.

    Pain and depression are closely related. Depression can cause pain — and pain can cause depression. Sometimes pain and depression create a vicious cycle in which pain worsens symptoms of depression, and then the resulting depression worsens feelings of pain.  Source:  MayoClinic.org

    I’m apologising to my friend, my kidlets, my husband and even my mother.  I’m sorry my depression has had me in a billion different moods.  I have no excuse for the way I’ve treated any of you.

    I am asking that if I ask you to do something in the house, please do it.  If I have to ask five or more times, then I’m going to lose it and yell.  No one likes me yelling but I shouldn’t have to ask six or more times to take out the garbage, cut the grass, bring a load of laundry up, clean your room, put your dishes in the dishwasher.  We all need to pitch in because I can’t do it all anymore.

    I’m in pain and you all know that but pain makes depression worse, worsening depression makes pain worse.  It’s an endless cycle.

    I'm deeply sorry to my family that I've hurt and my best friend who is going through her own battles and I compounded them. Click To Tweet

    I’m deeply sorry to my family that I’ve hurt and my best friend who is going through her own battles and I compounded them.

    I can only try to do better.

    Journey with me … mini2z

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    My Experience With Honey Colony’s Superior CBD Oil

    Please Note: My blog has affiliate links

     “I have been given this product as part of a product review through the Chronic Illness Bloggers network. Although the product was a gift, all opinions in this review remain my own and I was in no way influenced by the company. “

     


    Sunflower and Honey Colony CBD Oil

     

    Honey Colony Superior Cannabinoid Rich Hemp Formula – Herbal Supplement 

    What is it?  The definition from Honey Colony:

    Cannabidiol (CBD) is extracted from the Cannabis plant and has no euphoric properties whatsoever. This formulation offers all the health benefits of CBD without the feeling of being “high”.                Source:  Honey Colony

     

    Honey Colony Stock Photo of Superior CBD

    The Superior Six

    1. Sichuan Teasel Root (Dipsacus asperoides):    In China, Sichuan is named Xu Duan and translates to, restore what is broken. The sichuan teasel root has been used historically to tonify the liver and kidneys, promote blood circulation, and strengthen the bones and tendons.

    2. Dang Shen Root:    The dang shen root is a traditional Qi tonic and is notorious for offering the numerous therapeutic benefits ginseng offers. It is widely known for its energy, mood enhancing, and restorative support. When combined with astragalus, dang shen root is called The King of Combinations.

    3. Astragalus Root (Astragalus membranaceus):  In Chinese, Huangi Qi translates to Yellow Leader. This is due the yellow color of the root and it also being considered the leader of tonic herbs in traditional chinese medicine.
    4. White Peony / Bai Shao Yao root:    Bai Shao Yao root is widely cultivated throughout China for its numerous health benefits.

    5. Propolis:   In Greek, the name translates to Defense of the City, referencing its use in maintaining the integrity of the hive. Propolis is used by bees to repair and protect their hive. Typically, propolis is comprised of resin (50%), which is composed of flavonoids and related phenolic acids, generally called as the polyphenolic fraction, waxes (30%), essential oil (10%), pollen (5%), and other organic compounds (5%). However, this chemical composition may change according to the plant source and season; hence, quality sourcing of propolis is important

    6. Bitter Orange Peel (Citrus aurantium):     Bitter orange is grown in various varieties throughout the country. The Citrus aurantium variation is native to southern Vietnam.

     

    Honey Colony Superior CBD Oil review from mini2z for Chronic Illness Bloggers

    Label of Superior CBD from Honey Colony

     

    I received this a few weeks ago and I read it as to take the drops altogether so I decided bedtime was best for me.  I learned later that I could take it three times a day as four drops three times a day.  The first night, oh my, it is a weird taste.  You need to leave it under your tongue for the best effectiveness.  As the nights progressed, I was able to take the drops with no issue with the taste.  As I’m writing, I am realizing that my night time pain has decreased since I’ve been using the Honey Colony.  I’ve been getting a searing pain in my back and hips and I can honestly say that the CBD Oil has helped my pain.  It’s natural, made with Non-GMO, certified organic botanicals
    Soil used to grow cannabis is free of pesticides, herbicides, or artificial fertilizers.  At this point in my illness and health, I’m trying to keep food as natural and healthy.

    CONS:

    • the label is so tiny writing that even with my glasses off I have a hard time reading it.
    • The taste but you can actually get used to it.  Although, my daughter has left the room twice when I took it because it was, “oh my god you’re going to oh my put that in your mouth?”  Yeah, teen girls are a wee bet dramatic.
    • It is only available in the US (all 50 states), Germany, Italy, Spain, Israel, Australia and the UK.  You need to check that you’re able to get it shipped to you!
    • Price:  It’s $92.55 for a single bottle and a 3-pack is $262.65 which is currently a sale price.
    • CBD and Drug Tests:  Unfortunately, it is possible for CBD to result in a positive for THC— much like eating a poppy seed bagel can cause a positive for opiates depending on the type of test. Our products contain .03% THC, well below the federal limit of .3%, but you should use discretion if planning to be tested.  Sourced from Honey Colony

    PROS:

    • It’s completely botanical
    • Cannabidiol (CBD) is extracted from the Cannabis plant and has no euphoric properties whatsoever.  It does NOT make you HIGH or funny feeling.  From Honey Colony:  Due to our CBD containing .03% THC, the legal amount of THC and only the potent health support without the psychoactive effects.
    • It has a shelf life of 2-3 years and no refrigeration needed!
    • It’s not an OIL but instead it’s the only water soluble CBD in the market currently.
    • The. Superior Six: Sichuan Teasel Root, Dang Shen Root, Astragalus Root, White Peony / Bai Shao Yao root, Propolis,
      Bitter Orange Pee they all have SO many ingredients that are great for your health!

    I actually find that for me the benefits outweigh the cons because ANYTHING that helps my searing pain due to my lupus SLE and fibromyalgia is just AMAZING in my book!

    I actually find that for me the benefits outweigh the cons because ANYTHING that helps my searing pain due to my lupus SLE and fibromyalgia is just AMAZING in my book! Click To Tweet

    The Honey Colony Superior CBD Oil (not really oil) is the second product I’ve tried from Honey Colony and I love this so much more.  Honey Colony have given me some pretty awesome products to try and they’re awesome in my book!  I even signed up to be an affiliate with them because I believe in their products.  So go check out Honey Colony yourself at https://www.honeycolony.com/ If you want to use my link, that is on the right side of my blog.

    Sunflower and Honey Colony CBD Oil

    I hope you enjoyed my review.  Don’t forget to go check out Honey Colony on their website as they have all the information on the ingredients for you to check out yourself.  The price may be high but it’s a high-quality product!

    Journey with me … mini2z

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    World Suicide Prevention Day and Suicide Prevention Week

    and so i kept living, suicide awareness day,

    World Suicide Prevention Day was September 10th and Suicide Prevention and Awareness Week continues

    I follow several organizations, groups and people who are all about promoting awareness about suicide, depression and anxiety.  This topic is close to my heart because anxiety and depression have been part of my journey with chronic invisible illnesses.  It took me a long to admit that this was part of what was going on with me.  I found great doctors that I can talk to.  They have made me cognizant that the pain plays a great roll in the depression.  The anxiety is mostly because you can’t SEE what I’m fighting in my body everyday and I have been judged by the, “you don’t look sick”.  I’m sharing these sites or people that are advocates, touched by suicide, suicide survivors, suffer with anxiety or depression. 

    Project Semicolon : The simple message is that the semicolon in writing means the story isn’t over yet.  My Story Isn’t Over Yet #mystoryisntoveryet The Project Semicolon website explains their beginnings;

    This began in the spring of 2013, when Project Semicolon Founder, Amy Bleuel wanted to honor her father whom she lost to suicide. Through the semicolon symbol many related to the struggle of depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide and their will to continue on. The title, “Project Semicolon,” also represented a goal – to believe that this is not the end but a new beginning.   Project Semicolon 

    To Write Love on Her Arms  is a non-profit that began in 2006.  

     “To Write Love on Her Arms began in Orlando, FL, in 2006 when our founder, Jamie Tworkowski, wrote a story about a friend and the five days preceding her entry into treatment. The story, which was entitled “To Write Love on Her Arms,” went viral.”  TWLOHA

    Jared Padalecki is a celebrity who openly promotes and raises awareness to depression and suicide prevention with his Always Keep Fighting or #AKF, Love Yourself First, I Am Enough and the sale of the products the proceeds go to several charities that raise awareness to Suicide Prevention, Depression, Anxiety and other mental health issues. The Supernatural wiki has more information on them all.  #AKF #IamEnough #LoveYourselfFirst 

    “Loving yourself is vital in the fight against mental health problems, so I want to encourage y’all to focus on loving yourselves first… each and every one of you is worthy.” Jared Padalecki 

      and so i kept living, suicide awareness


      If you need to talk about anything or have someone with you, reach out. Family, friends, coworkers may not know you’re in distress but if you reach out they will be there for you. The best thing my work did was suggest my Psychologist and seeing and talking to her is helping. My marriage is stronger, my kidlets get it, mostly.  

      Let’s may Loving Yourself and #SelfCare not be taboo, I’m not crazy, I’m keeping my fight going, my story isn’t over and I’ll be adding a semicolon to the tattoo I want to get on my wrist.

      Reach out, because your story isn’t over yet either!

      Journey with me … mini2z

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