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    Where Oh Where I Have I Been?


    Where Oh Where I Have I Been?

    I haven’t written a proper blog since December.  I can only think that I haven’t felt like writing because of my depression.  I have always loved Christmas and the holiday season but since I’ve been battling with all these illnesses is the reason that I haven’t found my new normal.  I’m trying to find the balance but I don’t feel like I’m there yet. Christmas was an amazing time with my family.  We spent Christmas Eve at my mother-in-law’s and Christmas my mom, gram and mother-in-law came to our house.  I spent the next few days recovering because I should have napped both days but I pushed my body too much.

    I finally saw a neurologist just before Christmas.  He spent almost an hour doing the check up and prescribed a medication that I had to try before my insurance would pay for the botox.  The botox will be in three spots on my head.  I’ve also been referred for two MRI’s of my head, back and hips.  The hope is that they can do both of the MRI’s together so I don’t have to go into the machine twice.  I am claustrophobic so two tests won’t be fun for me. March 6th will mark the first and hopefully my only MRI but I know I can handle two being mildly sedated for them at the very least.

     

     

    I posted this on my New Year’s Post but I don’t make “resolutions” as I will always break them.  I will list some things I’m going to work on doing better, (working on) though:

    • budgeting – meal planning, cut back on spending (subscription boxes)
    • blog on a sort of set schedule for me – sponsored blogs yeah they get done but personal ones go on the back burner
    • walking and yoga – again it’s not something that I can schedule but I’d like to have someone walk with me with the pupalups and get to yoga once a week
    • keep getting better rest and sleep – it has improved but the painsomnia can’t be helped
    • not feel guilty for what I can’t do – that’s a hard one but working on it every day
    • try to get my nails in order, take medications on time (more on that in a couple months)
    • get to the dentist to get the work the work that needs to be done.

     

    Today is Family Day in my province of Ontario, Canada.  It’s a relatively new holiday created so there was a day off between Christmas and Easter.  It’s February 20th and it’s already 48 degrees out.  My dogs aren’t complaining about wanting back in after two seconds outside.  We had record high temperatures on Saturday.

    On Saturday, I finally received the call from the pain clinic.  I have my two appointments. The first is approximately 1.5 hours with twelve pages of documents to fill out.  The second appointment is about two hours.  She asked if the dates would work and I said, no matter what I’d work it out because I’ve been waiting for these for almost a year.

    I hope you’ll grab a cuppa tea and continue on this journey with me.

    mini2z

    mini2z journey with me

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    Inspired by family, memories, Thanksgiving

    <a href=”http://www.bloglovin.com/blog/14942087/?claim=dwhc9xemu94″>Follow my blog with Bloglovin</a>

    Yesterday, the question came up have I been inspired lately?  Well I hadn’t because I’ve just been in a mood.  Pain has a way of doing that do you.  I was happy that the past week was a “no doctor’s appointments” at all week, none, nada, not a one. This week I have two or three; I don’t have my planner beside me so I can’t remember.

    My daughter came home from school, tired and exhausted but happy.  Made me think, all the time I’ve been sick and I’m in my room a lot; my bed has become the go to gathering spot.  I’ve had three kidlets and sometimes a dog or two talking to me about their day, their plans and cheering me up. Inspiration had me thinking, my daughter and her friends who I think of as daughters who gather in my bed instead of my living room and the big comfy couch.  So this weekend was special because the extra daughter came to my house before she even went home.  So we ended up watching some thriller on Netflix in my queen sized bed.  Did I mention I really need a bigger bed?


    Today is the Canadian Thanksgiving.  I have no clue why we have a different date than the US.  My husband did tell me that we have to pick up a couple turkeys after the US Thanksgiving because some turkey with “honey” in the name is the best turkey ever.  My husband gets all these recipes and cooking advice from his coworkers.  That’s a good think because we’d starve otherwise.  My mom and grams are coming over for dinner and because my son is working today we’re having dinner at a normal dinner time.  It smells so yummy in the house.

    Our Wedding 1995
    Yesterday was my husband’s and I’s 21st wedding anniversary.  Somehow, I thought it was our 20th.  Facebook reminded me that I wished him a happy 20th last year.  What did we do?  Nothing, nada, zilch because I didn’t want to leave the house due to pain.  He went to the Spitfires game on his motorcycle and froze his tush off on the way home.  My girlie actually watched Once Upon a Time with me as a homework stalling technique I think.  I’ll take it.

    with the kidlets, gramma, gram-mim and poppa jack
    Today is also bittersweet as we all gather for thanksgiving it’s also the day my Poppa Jack passed away eight years ago. Holiday meals always made me think of him and dessert.  We have Mayberry slices of desserts, little bit of turkey and the trimmings and two desserts, what’s wrong with that?  My son was in charge of buying desserts, yeah I don’t bake either.

    I’m still thankful for my family, friends, the pupalups, a roof over our heads, turkey sandwiches for the next week and LOVE!  Oh and wine, thanksgiving is a good day to have a glass of wine!


    How was your weekend? Any plans this coming week?

    Journey with me … mini2z

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    World Suicide Prevention Day and Suicide Prevention Week

    and so i kept living, suicide awareness day,

    World Suicide Prevention Day was September 10th and Suicide Prevention and Awareness Week continues

    I follow several organizations, groups and people who are all about promoting awareness about suicide, depression and anxiety.  This topic is close to my heart because anxiety and depression have been part of my journey with chronic invisible illnesses.  It took me a long to admit that this was part of what was going on with me.  I found great doctors that I can talk to.  They have made me cognizant that the pain plays a great roll in the depression.  The anxiety is mostly because you can’t SEE what I’m fighting in my body everyday and I have been judged by the, “you don’t look sick”.  I’m sharing these sites or people that are advocates, touched by suicide, suicide survivors, suffer with anxiety or depression. 

    Project Semicolon : The simple message is that the semicolon in writing means the story isn’t over yet.  My Story Isn’t Over Yet #mystoryisntoveryet The Project Semicolon website explains their beginnings;

    This began in the spring of 2013, when Project Semicolon Founder, Amy Bleuel wanted to honor her father whom she lost to suicide. Through the semicolon symbol many related to the struggle of depression, addiction, self-injury and suicide and their will to continue on. The title, “Project Semicolon,” also represented a goal – to believe that this is not the end but a new beginning.   Project Semicolon 

    To Write Love on Her Arms  is a non-profit that began in 2006.  

     “To Write Love on Her Arms began in Orlando, FL, in 2006 when our founder, Jamie Tworkowski, wrote a story about a friend and the five days preceding her entry into treatment. The story, which was entitled “To Write Love on Her Arms,” went viral.”  TWLOHA

    Jared Padalecki is a celebrity who openly promotes and raises awareness to depression and suicide prevention with his Always Keep Fighting or #AKF, Love Yourself First, I Am Enough and the sale of the products the proceeds go to several charities that raise awareness to Suicide Prevention, Depression, Anxiety and other mental health issues. The Supernatural wiki has more information on them all.  #AKF #IamEnough #LoveYourselfFirst 

    “Loving yourself is vital in the fight against mental health problems, so I want to encourage y’all to focus on loving yourselves first… each and every one of you is worthy.” Jared Padalecki 

      and so i kept living, suicide awareness


      If you need to talk about anything or have someone with you, reach out. Family, friends, coworkers may not know you’re in distress but if you reach out they will be there for you. The best thing my work did was suggest my Psychologist and seeing and talking to her is helping. My marriage is stronger, my kidlets get it, mostly.  

      Let’s may Loving Yourself and #SelfCare not be taboo, I’m not crazy, I’m keeping my fight going, my story isn’t over and I’ll be adding a semicolon to the tattoo I want to get on my wrist.

      Reach out, because your story isn’t over yet either!

      Journey with me … mini2z

      mini2z journey with me and logo

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