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Feeling Lost

 

I’m okay, I’ve been feeling completely lost …

I’ve been feeling completely lost. I’ve been playing it’s not anything, just my sugar, just my blood pressure but something is wrong. Today I go and get a heart monitor that I have to wear for the next two weeks.  I go after a week to have it read and schedule more tests.  My daughter seems to think that I have an arrhythmia of some sort and I will need a pacemaker, that’s the nurse in her speaking I’m guessing.  She’s the type of matter of fact speaking her mind person.  You see, she’s been with me for a few of my most recent fainting, shaking episodes. Two of those episodes were in a few short hour time span.  I get dizzy, sound is very distorted or I can’t hear at all, my vision goes blurry, I get a tingling in my arms and hands, I can’t stand, I’m tired and after I’m tired and my head hurts.  This scares the crap out of me  My blood sugar levels have been within normal ranges and my blood pressure levels have been within normal ranges so testing my heart it is.

 

I’ve retreated so far into me that I feel lost

 

If you just stumbled onto my ramblings, then welcome.  I’m a Chronic Illness warrior fighting Lupus, Fibromyalgia, Chronic Migraines, Chronic Pain, Diabetes and Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis and to top it off, I am battling with depression and anxiety. I haven’t written a blog in a few weeks because of that depression and the feeling lost.  Writing has always been my escape but I couldn’t seem to bring myself to write.  Seems like I get two steps ahead and then four steps back with no end in sight.  The goals have been to get me stable and see how things go.  Well, it’s been over two years since I’ve been off of work and I miss working.  I know I can’t work the way I am with any of my issues, hell I can’t even read and remember what it was I was reading.  My anxiety is lower but I haven’t driven much in the past two years and currently, I’m terrified that something will happen to me if I drive.  I’m alone a lot of the time and I like people, I like talking to people and I miss that interaction.  I’ve retreated so far into me that I feel lost even after two years of treatment.

I hate needles ... I needed to try Click To Tweet

I’m working on a blog about the Therapeutic Nerve Therapy that I’ve been getting at the Pain Care Clinic but I’ll share a brief description.  I started out ten weeks ago but I’m on week eight of getting shots.  The shots started out in my spine and in the lower back and they’re directly in the nerves.  Oh, I hate needles but if it was going to give me relief (it has some) then I needed to try.  The doctor running the trial is amazing.  I like him and he’s informative about all the side effects, adjusts the sites as needed and increased the sites as well.  He’s also given me some extra cortisone shots into my SI joint.  More on this form of torture and relief to come soon!

I’m okay and not in a bad place in my head even with all that I’m dealing with.  I’m still mourning the loss of who I was while finding the new me.

I hope you’ll come back and check out future blogs. I’ve received and will be receiving some products to try and even the pupalups will be getting some products to try as well, so I hope you’ll check those out too.

 

Journey with me … mini2z

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3 Comments

  • Reply Sarah P

    I hope the rest of the Therapeutic Nerve Therapy sessions go well. It’s always a great feeling being in the care of a doctor you can trust. Stay strong!

    2017-06-19 at 16:10
  • Reply jacquelineobyikocha

    Blessed be. I can imagine how you must be feeling struggling with all these issues. I hope the sessions work out well. Do take care.

    2017-06-21 at 02:21
  • Thank you for visiting me at mini2z ... Journey with me and I hope to see you often xx

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