Some days even taking a shower is a major accomplishment.
I wish I had a magic formula to give me the old me back. Â I’ve been so tired and fatigued for so long that I don’t remember what having energy was. Â I know I had it because I was so involved in so much and I was always so busy. Â I was working, driving the kidlets here, there and everywhere. Â I volunteered with their Irish Dance school and at feiseanna and at one point I even volunteered to be the mom that got five extra teen girls safely to and from Nashville, TN for the North American Irish Dance Championships. I have a family, dogs, a mother who lives with us and house to keep up. Oh and a million doctor’s appointments. Â I don’t know how I did so much before without crashing.
I know I have a girlfriend that said she knew something was wrong when I had a major depressive episode last year. Â But pulling away from friends, activities and even family was the start of the depression that I can pinpoint. Â Was it there before? I don’t know. Â Now was the the depression caused by my thyroid issues, the newly discovered diabetes or the yet undiagnosed Lupus and Fibromyalgia? Â I got better but not back to who I was before. Â Stress really hurts the body and I find that more stress has me laid up longer and longer.
I think I started writing this at 10:00 and I’ve achieved a lot. Â I cleaned the toilet (I don’t think anyone else knows how). Â I made some Beer Cheese Soup sort of based on Jack Astor’s recipe. Â It was good but too cheesey. I brushed my dogs outside (in the shade) and I think Keely released a whole new dog into our yard.
Tomorrow I have to go to the eye doctor’s because I’ve been having trouble focusing with both eyes. Â If I look at a book, tv, computer I find I’m closing an eye to see so I don’t think that’s a good thing. Â My mommy is driving me because I’m sure he will put some drops in my eyes. Â It’s been worrying me but I’m finally ready to handle going in and getting assessed.
It’s now almost bedtime and I need to take a shower. Â I don’t have the energy but it’s something I must do. Â My sleep pants are also getting tossed in the garbage I’m told they’re very holey.
Kala thank you for this beautiful photo of me. Â
Brain fog is also a major issue with me right now, If I don’t write it down I could lose the thought completely. Â I feel like this blog is all over the place.
I’m done procrastinating…..I must shower…
Featured Image words tired courtesy @mrswelches