Some days even taking a shower is a major accomplishment.


I wish I had a magic formula to give me the old me back.  I’ve been so tired and fatigued for so long that I don’t remember what having energy was.  I know I had it because I was so involved in so much and I was always so busy.  I was working, driving the kidlets here, there and everywhere.  I volunteered with their Irish Dance school and at feiseanna and at one point I even volunteered to be the mom that got five extra teen girls safely to and from Nashville, TN for the North American Irish Dance Championships. I have a family, dogs, a mother who lives with us and house to keep up. Oh and a million doctor’s appointments.  I don’t know how I did so much before without crashing.

I know I have a girlfriend that said she knew something was wrong when I had a major depressive episode last year.  But pulling away from friends, activities and even family was the start of the depression that I can pinpoint.  Was it there before? I don’t know.  Now was the the depression caused by my thyroid issues, the newly discovered diabetes or the yet undiagnosed Lupus and Fibromyalgia?  I got better but not back to who I was before.  Stress really hurts the body and I find that more stress has me laid up longer and longer.

I think I started writing this at 10:00 and I’ve achieved a lot.  I cleaned the toilet (I don’t think anyone else knows how).  I made some Beer Cheese Soup sort of based on Jack Astor’s recipe.  It was good but too cheesey. I brushed my dogs outside (in the shade) and I think Keely released a whole new dog into our yard.

Tomorrow I have to go to the eye doctor’s because I’ve been having trouble focusing with both eyes.  If I look at a book, tv, computer I find I’m closing an eye to see so I don’t think that’s a good thing.  My mommy is driving me because I’m sure he will put some drops in my eyes.  It’s been worrying me but I’m finally ready to handle going in and getting assessed.

It’s now almost bedtime and I need to take a shower.  I don’t have the energy but it’s something I must do.  My sleep pants are also getting tossed in the garbage I’m told they’re very holey.

I don't look it but I'm exhausted here

I don’t look it but I’m exhausted here

Kala thank you for this beautiful photo of me.  

Brain fog is also a major issue with me right now, If I don’t write it down I could lose the thought completely.   I feel like this blog is all over the place.

I’m done procrastinating…..I must shower…

Featured Image words tired courtesy @mrswelches

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